Communication

Notes

Use and instead of but, stop using but!

Use I want instead of I should!

Every sentence should add value.

Courtesies

I'm sorry to trouble you, ...
Would you be so kind as to ...
Won't you please ...
Would you mind ...
Thank You.

Well, now, look. I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently am. And if I am wrong, I want to be put right. Le's examine the facts.

This is my honor to be here.

How to Win Friends & Influence People notes

Handling people:

• Don't criticize, condemn or complain
• Give honest and sincere appreciation
• Arose in the other person an eager want

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody.

Benjamin Franklin

Ways to make people like you:

• Become genuinely interested in other people
• Smile
• Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
• Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
• Talk in terms of the other person's interests
• Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely

There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything:
by making the other person want to do it.

The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.

John Dewey

Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips.
You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.

Try to figure out the other person's good points.
Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation.

A smile says: I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.

Smile - it costs nothing, but creates much.

People rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Shakespeare

Very important people have told me that they prefer good listeners to good talkers,
but the ability to listen seems rarer than almost any other good trait.

Win people to your way of thinking:

• The only way to get best of an argument is to avoid it
• Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong"
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
• Begin in a friendly way
• Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately
• Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
• Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
• Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view
• Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires
• Appeal to the nobler motives
• Dramatize your ideas
• Throw down a challenge

The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind; and kindliness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.

Be a leader:

• Begin with prise and honest appreciation
• Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
• Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
• Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
• Let the other person save face
• Price the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise
• Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
• Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
• Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.

Technical writing

To focus on:

• Focus each paragraph on a single topic
• State key points at the start of each document
• Identify your target audience
• Determine what your target audience already knows and what your target audience needs to learn
• State your document's scope (goals) and audience
• Break long topics into appropriate sections
• The vast majority of sentences in technical writing should be in active voice

How to read any room

Dating

If they ignore you, just quietly move on, don't need to send long messages, just take your dignity and go.
How you meet is irrelevant, stop romanticizing it, important - you meet your person, not how you meet them.
Don't assume is a handful of good qualities are good then everything else is great, don't have the full picture.
If not clear about the type of person you want to attract - wasting a lot of time with unsuitable people.
The right person doesn't put you in a position where you stand. Right people give clarity, not confusion.
Date people who share similar values. Mialign in values causes conflicts.
Have to be visible. Presentation is important.
...

Links

The Achievement Habit by Bernard Roth
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Technical Writing, Google course